


The Iron Price

by TobiBooneTheSmallSpoone



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Healing, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-28
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-01-06 09:44:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12208734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TobiBooneTheSmallSpoone/pseuds/TobiBooneTheSmallSpoone
Summary: Yara got Theon back eventually, the damage by the Bolton Bastard is done and she has to help him heal, but she can't do it alone.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There is an astounding number of Theon fics that have him intact. I wonder about that. Truly. So, this is on board of Yara's ship as if there is no war and they are just a trading vessel. King Balin is dead by this point of natural causes and the Iron Isles are under the North's rule, so that's taken care of.

The kennels were eerily quiet tonight, the dogs apparently all went to sleep at the same time which was very strange as there was always at least one dog that would get up and pace or get some water or something . . . Reek was certain they must have had a full meal which was, again, very strange as Ramsay usually fed the dogs only enough to sustain them but never fill them up,

_A good dog is always hungry, keeps them ready to attack and tear apart whatever I point them at._

Reek shivered at the notion and he remembered how gleefully Ramsay had told him that while holding one of those massive beasts by the lead just inches from Reek's face.

Reek was pulled from his thoughts when he saw one of the dogs looking right at him, it's eyes glowing red in the dimlight and he was about to call out to it when the beast lunged at the bars that magically disappeared and it's mouth opened wide with rows of sharp teeth coming right for Reek's face-

“AGH!” Theon sat up straight in his bed, clutching the sheets in terror and gasping for air. He yelped again when there was a pounding on his door.

“Theon! Theon, what is it?”

It was Yara . . .

“N-Nothing, I'm fine . . . bad dream.” He called, trembling as he gathered the blanket around himself and making sure every inch of skin was covered because if he knew his sister, she would come in anyway.

Sure enough the door opened and in came his older sister, Yara, she was wearing an ill-fitting longcoat buttoned up which meant she was most likely naked underneath. She sat on the edge of his bed and searched his face,

“Are ya alright?” She asked suspiciously.

Theon nodded, turning a bit away from her, his ears reddening, “Yes.”

“You're bleeding.” Yara took a corner of the blanket and tried to dab at where Theon had bitten his lip but he wouldn't let go of the blanket enough, Yara huffed and arched en eyebrow, “Theon, it's alright, it's just me.”

Theon swallowed thickly and shook his head a little, not able to meet her eyes, “ . . . I can't.”

Yara shook her head aggitatedly, she was not used to dealing with this brand of fear, “Theon, you have less than a girl-child down there now, I'm not even going to see anything! Let me help you with your lip then we'll get you back to sleep.”

Theon's eyes welled up with tears and he let the blanket go resignedly, letting Yara dab at the cut, comforted slightly by how gentle she was and how she hummed a little when she concentrated, his sister glanced up at him briefly before standing and going to a cabinet next to the door,

“Was it the Dreadfort again?”

Theon shivered and hunched over, drawing his knees up to hug them tightly, “How can it be anything else?”

Yara nodded slowly as she poured him a drink and came to sit back on the bed, “Heard Sansa let Ramsay's own dogs eat his face off. I'm only sorry I didn't get a shot in or better yet, you could have done him in.”

Theon shook his head, “I wouldn't've been able to do it . . . “

Yara scoffed and held the cup out to him, “Sure you would, just have to keep in mind that he cut your cock and balls off and we'd have to haul you off his corpse so we'd have something to bury.”

Theon took the drink in his hands and snuffled, “ . . . you don't understand.”

“No, I don't, not at all,” She conceded, “But I do know that went through hell and high water to get you back.”

Theon blinked slowly, “I'm sorry about that.”

Yara stared at her little brother for a moment before reaching out and cradling the back of his head in her hand and pulling him closer to touch their foreheads together, their eyes met,

“I would have done it over a thousand more times and count it worth the effort if even one time you looked at me and knew me. Just for once that you'd take my hand and come back with me . . . not to say that you were dead . . . “ Yara let him go and stood, “That'll help you sleep, drink it.”

Theon watched her close the door behind her and he thought every step she took away of calling out to her, to not leave him alone, to hold him and tell him that the nightmares would go away, but he knew better. Theon looked at the concoction and tipped the cup to his lips, drinking the cloying mixture down. He set the cup on the floor and turned onto his side, curling into a ball with the blanket tucked under his chin. Theon lay quietly for a moment then reached down into his trousers, he could no longer stand to be naked even when sleeping, the feeling of desperate vulnerability was too much for him anymore. His fingers brushed over the scarring that remained, it was puckered and rigid and Ramsay had beat him mercilessly afterwards,

_Well now, if you'd held still like a good bitch and taken it, the cut would have been clean._

Theon choked a little and his fingers stroked the slightly raised mound that remained of his penis, further back was a twisted line where his scrotum once was then nothing. Yara acted like he shouldn't feel anything anymore but he did . . . Theon pulled his hand back out of his trousers and curled up tighter, feeling his body grow heavy as what Yara gave him took affect and he dropped off to sleep.

* * *

Theon stood on the deck, breathing deeply the salty air and feeling more at ease than he had in a very long time. At least, until he was rudely pulled back from his thoughts by the crew.

“Oi, you gonna stand about all day or work?”

Thoen turned around and there was the bosun, Herst, his eyes narrowed,

“I'm sorry, I-”

“Get to work.” Herst snapped, wrinkling his nose in disgust at Theon then he turned and put his attention to yelling at someone else.

Theon nodded to himself and went to find something useful to do, but he couldn't help but hear the bosun call him a 'cockless lump' under his breath and that gave Theon pause. He turned back around to the bosun and Herst stood tall with his head tilted back in an open challenge, he knew Theon had heard him and wanted the young man to do something about it.

The young prince shifted his weight, nodded slightly and hurried on his way amid barely concealed snickering.

“Leave him be.” A sharp voice cracked over the laughter.

Theon slowly turned to see who was sticking up for him as did the offenders and all eyes fell on a man with a barrel over his shoulder, he was wearing the longcoat that Yara had had on the previous night and his short black hair was tucked under a knit hat. He had a gold hoop through his left ear and no right ear, his cheekbones were sharp and high under bright green eyes.

“Or what, Nash? You'll run and tell the captain?” Herst sneered.

Nash set the barrel down with a thud, “Might do that. Or I might make suggestion 'bout a new bosun.”

Herst snorted, “You won't do either, bugger.”

Nash smiled openly, his fingers sliding into the coat's pocket, “Won't I?”

“No and even if ya were to go back to the captain and tell her how we're ribbing on her worthless turn-coat brother, wouldn't matter. Everyone knows the Bolton bastard sent his tackle to King Balin without him.” Herst snapped.

Theon stared at the deck, his ears and cheeks red and he wanted to run but he was rooted to the spot, he was about to try and leave when he heard a yell. He looked up in time to see Nash rush the bosun, grabbing the man by his coat and hauling him up onto the foremast, a long slim knife angled between the man's legs.

“How bout we see how ya'd fair without yers? Hm? Cock or no cock, that's yer prince, Theon Greyjoy, ya spineless twit and I'd thank ya to remember that.”

Herst growled then laughed, “More like princess.”

Nash's knife sliced through Herst's trousers easily, the thin fabric of the bosun's small clothes the only thing protecting him from losing his manhood,

“Sorry, didn' catch that, once more, bit louder? 'm deaf in one ear.” Nash leaned closer, tilting his head to one side.

Herst grimaced, “Nothing, I said nothing!”

“Is that what I should tell the captain?” Nash asked in a mock-innocent voice, turning the knife slightly so it bit into Herst a smidge.

“Yes! Dammit, Nash, yes!”

“That's better.” Nash let the man go and sheathed the knife, he watched the crowd disperse quickly then turned to Theon, “I'd suggest ya stay outta their way an' stop givin' 'em fodder.”

“Sorry.” Theon said in a small voice, “ . . . Thank you, for that just now.”

Nash shrugged, “'s nothing, Nash Pyke, by the by. C'mon, let's get ya somethin' ta do with yer time.”

Theon limped along with Nash as the man led him belowdecks toward the galley, “Here, I'll bet they have somethin' ya can do here.”

Theon nodded, “Will you get in trouble for what happened on deck?”

“Not unless Herst wants to tell Yara what he was starting with you.” Nash assured, putting a hand on Theon's shoulder, “I'll be fine.”

Theon stared at the longcoat for a moment then nodded slowly, “Alright, thank you again.”

Nash nodded then headed back to work.

* * *

Theon sat at the table picking at his food, Yara had him fixed with one of her calculating looks and it made him increasingly uncomfortable. Finally he put his fork down and took a grounding breath,

“Yes?”

“I know what happened on deck today.” She said calmly but it was obvious that she was beyond miffed.

“Did Nash tell you?” Theon asked softly.

Yara tilted her head back, “Why would you think it was him?”

“You were wearing his longcoat the other night.” Theon said simply, “I thought perhaps you two were . . . close.”

Yara blinked then threw her head back and laughed, “You think that Nash and I- Oh, that's rich. Firstly, no, I don't want a man at all and secondly, he doesn't want a woman. We're convenient bedwarmers for each other, Theon, besides that, if the men ever got any ideas of what other uses I might have, he'd gut them. Not that I can't handle myself, mind you.”

Theon blinked, “ . . . oh, I see.”

“Surprised? You've seen me with women in the past.” Yara cocked her head to the side and speared a potato, chewing it thoughtfully.

“Well, yes, but I didn't know if you liked women exclusively.” Theon shrugged.

“I do. Now back to what happened. Herst has been dealt with, he won't so much as look at you the wrong way unless he wants to be dumped off at the next harbor.”

Theon stared at his hands, “ . . . thank you.”

Yara stared at her little brother then stood up and walked around the table, taking note how Theon's eyes flitted about nervously at her approach as if looking for a means of escape. She squatted next to his chair and took one of his hands in hers, she could feel scars on the soft pads of his fingers and hands,

“Theon, look at me,” She gently reached up and turned his face toward her, “You're safe. No one is going to hurt you. I promise. And if they so much as raise a hand to strike you, I'll cut off their hand.”

Theon nodded and sniffed, “I . . . I wish I was brave or strong like you . . . “

Yara cupped Theon's face in her hands now, making him look at her, “You survived and that's a stroke of bravery and strength that not many people know.”

Theon hiccuped and broke down, Yara gathered him to her chest and soothed him, stroking his soft curls and murmuring words of safety and love and it's alright, he can't touch you anymore.

* * *

Yara walked into the cabin and Nash glanced up, “He alright?”

“Yeah, thanks for what you did.” Yara disrobed and climbed into the bed.

Nash breathed out slowly, “Couldn't stand by an' let 'em say that shite about him. Poor thing trembled like a newborn colt.”

“He's healing. He'll be Theon Greyjoy again, someday.” Yara mumbled, rolling onto her stomach.

Nash laid on his side, staring at her, “Maybe . . . I should help him?”

Yara turned her head and blinked at Nash, “Not yet, give him some more time. He has to absolutely trust you before I'd suggest that.”

Nash nodded his head and rolled onto his back, staring at the boards, “Just hate for him to think he's alone . . . like no one knows how he feels.”

“Just give him time.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

Theon sat peeling potatoes day three of the voyage, he was so intent on his work that he slipped with the knife and cut his hand when someone sat next to him,

“Oh! I didn't mean to startle ya!” Nash quickly pulled a kerchief out of his longcoat pocket and pressed it to the gash.

Theon blinked in surprise, “It's just a little cut. I've had worse . . . trust me.”

Nash blinked and gently mopped the wound, “ . . . I don't presume ta kn-”

“It's fine.” Theon said shortly, “It's not presuming when everyone somehow knows every detail of what I went through.”

Theon took his hand back and pressed the cloth to it, not looking at Nash who he was certain was looking at him with that damn look of pity or disgust everyone seemed to alternate between. He waited to hear the 'I'm sorry' or any iteration of an apology to poor little Theon's predicament.

He waited several moments but Nash didn't say anything and when he looked up, the sailor was sorting through some potatoes before selecting one. Theon blinked in confusion at Nash's continued silence until he finally got a reaction.

“ . . . what?”

Theon shook his head, “I . . . I don't know.”

Nash gently took Theon's hand back and turned it over to carefully lift the cloth and, once he saw the bleeding had stopped, he turned back to the potato he'd picked, took out his knife, and started to peel,

“Just in case it was lost on ya, I'm not yer enemy.” Nash said calmly as he finished with that potato and grabbed a second.

Theon grimaced, “i'm sorry . . . I'm not used to that.”

“I'm aware. It's alright, Theon, healing takes time.” Nash murmured.

They peeled potatoes in silence for a while before Theon ventured to speak,

“How did you and Yara meet?”

Nash tilted his head a bit, “She tell you 'bout us being friends?”

“'Convenient bedwarmers' I think is the phrase she used.” Theon smiled a little.

Nash snorted and leaned back on a support beam, “That's one way of putting it. She saved me from being strung up.”

“What did you do?” Theon hunched into himself a bit, focusing on the tuber in his hands.

“Took a fancy to the wrong man.” Nash said quietly, slicing a particularly large eye off a spud, “He didn't like that much and before I knew what was happening I was stuck in the middle of an angry mob, one of 'em sliced my ear clean off and they were fixin' ta hang me from a tree in the center of town when Yara rushed in, sword drawn, with some of her crew and they fought the mob off an' I joined her crew an' here I am.”

“And you're one of our countrymen? You said your last name is Pyke.” Theon leaned forward, the image of his sister doing something heroic filled him with a strange kind of pride.

“Aye, I'm from the Iron Isle, grew up working the docks, so to speak.” Nash muttered.

“You were a sailor?”

Nash fixed Theon with a cocked eyebrow, “No, was a whore.”

Theon's eyes widened, “As a _child_?”

“Aye.” Nash nodded, “Made enough money to get myself freed an' a job on a trading vessel. From there I moved about from ship to ship, had to keep moving.”

“Why?”

“Men would find out about me and it would get bad so I'd leave to save myself from gettin' hurt.” Nash shrugged, “Can't complain too loudly though, Yara found me an' now I'm more than happy to stay aboard here wither her at the helm.”

Theon nodded, “I understand.”

“I'm sure you do.”

They were quiet for a bit longer until the call for supper was sounded. Nash stowed his knife back in his coat and wiped his hands on his trousers,

“Shall we get some vittles?”

Thoen stood as well, grimacing when his bad leg twinged from sitting too long, “Vittles?”

“Victuals, yanno, food.” Nash chuckled, “C'mon.”

Theon flinched when Nash swung an arm around his shoulders then relaxed when he realized the motion was meant to be friendly.

* * *

Theon and Nash walked into Yara's dining hall and she looked up with eyebrows raised when she saw them,

“Well, now look who's getting chummy.”

Theon blinked and shifted nervously, “I'm so-”

“She's teasin' ya, Theon, you're not breaking any rules.” Nash assured, patting Theon's shoulder gently, “Isn't that right, Yara?”

Yara snorted, “Where were you two tucked away at?”

“Peeling potatoes.” Theon murmured, taking his seat.

“Just giving Theon a hand.” Nash smiled winningly, “Why? Did ya miss me?”

“Not as much as you might think. We'll be making port soon, gotta get that shipment settled so we can head South again. Fuckin' winter is coming and I'd rather not get stuck in a gale.” Yara was watching Theon carefully as the redhead sat in his chair and nodded to the server who set a steaming plate in front of him, “Maybe you two wouldn't mind making a delivery for me once we reach the harbor? Save me a bit of trouble.”

Theon glanced between Nash and Yara, “I'm happy to help.”

“That's the spirit!” Nash grinned around a mouthful of sausage and potato.

Yara shook her head in amusement as she speared a leek with her knife, nibbling the end thoughtfully, “It's just a quick run to a shop that I placed an order into. Just hand the 'keep a note and he'll have the merchandise delivered to the ship.”

Theon nodded, “Sounds easy enough.”

“Besides, it'll give you a chance to stretch your legs and get some fresh air.” Yara smiled encouragingly at Theon.

Her brother frowned, “ . . . because I don't get enough of either of those on the ship? Are you trying to get rid of me?”

Nash choked on his wine and shook his head, “That's not what I think Yara meant, Theon.”

“Not at all,” Yara put her silverware down in confusion, “I just meant . . . Look, if you don't want to go, it's fine, Nash can make it on his own. I-”

“No,” Theon cut over her, his eyes widening, “No, I want to help, really I do! I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, I swear!”

It was quiet as Yara and Nash stared at Theon and the younger Greyjoy started hyperventilating and sputtering out excuses and apologies that slowly became more and more incoherent and unrelated to the conversation.

Theon covered his head and started rocking in his seat, crying out when someone embraced him tightly. He struggled frantically for a moment until he could hear Yara shouting his name in his ear over his own clamoring heartbeat and mumbling. His eyes snapped open wide and he kicked away and fell off his chair onto the floorboards, Theon scrabbled away to a corner, pressing into it and cowering despite the lack of a threat.

“Theon, it's alright! You're safe!” Yara was on her knees trying to pull him from the corner while Nash looked on, completely at a loss for what to do.

“I'm sorry! I'm sorry!” Theon repeated over and over, covering his head as flashes of Ramsay's leering face plagued his mind behind eyelids squeezed tightly shut, the memory of bonds digging into his ankles and holding his weight at his wrists. Lashes and knives and hot irons, all manner of things that came without those magic words that would stop it all. Ramsay smiling with a look of mock gentleness as he cooed and shushed a trembling Theon,

_We'll try harder next time, won't we, Reek?_

“Yes, next time . . . I'll do better.”

_And we won't make Master angry, will we?_

“No, never! I swear!”

_There's a good lad, Reek! Now come lick Master's boots clean, hm?_

Theon nodded then opened his eyes so he could better find his way to Ramsay only to blink in confusion as he only saw his sister, Yara, with watery, frustrated eyes as she knelt in front of him with Nash standing a bit back looking bewildered and helpless. Theon swallowed, his throat bobbed as he swallowed thickly, his eyes and nose streaming as he hiccuped and slowly unfolded his arms and legs,

“ . . . I . . . I'm sorry.” He croaked, licking dry lips nervously.

“It's alright,” Yara murmured, reaching out to him and stopping a few inches short with her hand hovering uncertainly for a moment before she seemed to decide something and began moping Theon's face with her sleeve, rubbing at his cheeks and nose like he was a toddler, “It's over, just breathe.”

Theon held perfectly still under Yara's ministrations, “I . . . I must seem so pathetic to you.”

Nash blinked when he realized it was he that Theon was addressing, Yara turned her head slightly toward the sailor, her eyes suddenly hard, Nash shook his head slowly,

“No, seen enough in my life ta know better than that. Yer not pathetic, Theon, not in the least.” Here the bastard knelt next to Yara, reaching his hand out and gently taking Theon's, or at least he attempted to but Theon flinched and curled back in on himself, “Yer safe here, neither of us is gonna hurt ya, Theon.”

Theon took several minutes of soothing and coaxing before he shifted out of the corner and back to the table, their food was cold by this time but they all ate anyway with Yara and Nash both regaling Theon with tales of their exploits to lighten the mood and were rewarded when Theon actually laughed out loud during a particularly spirited recounting of when Nash once tried to catch a large catfish with his bare hands, almost drowning in the process but dragging the great fish up onto the shore triumphantly all the same.

When they finally finished supper the sun was dipping down into the horizon, they sat drinking cups of spiced wine with heavy eyelids and for the first time in quite a while, Theon was smiling and relaxed, stretched out next to Yara with his head tucked onto her shoulder while Nash sat nearby, looking out the large bay window at the twinkling stars.

Yara stroked Theon's hair gently while he dozed, looking up at Nash briefly,

“Think he's finally gonna sleep through the night?”

“Let's hope so,” Nash murmured, he shrugged out of his coat and slung it into a corner, scooting down to lie next to Yara on her other side, “Love the feeling of the ship moving under me, I imagine it's like a mother rocking her baby.”

Yara smirked, “So what's a storm on the sea then? A mother throttling her child?”

“Well when the child misbehaves . . . The sea is a grand old mum, ain't she? Raising so many children in giant wooden cradles . . . I bet there's a song about that, sounds like the kind of poetry a drunk sailor would slur.” Nash chuckled.

Yara reached up and pulled Nash's hat off his head and stroked the dark locks that curled around his neck and ear, “Sounds stupid and flowery.”

“Yeah but I'm drunk so whatever.” Nash shrugged and closed his eyes.

Yara stroked over the puckered hole that remained of Nash's ear, her fingers tracing the outer ridge, Nash turned his head and cocked an eyebrow, Yara returned the look,

“What?”

“What yourself.” Nash moved to sit up a bit more.

“I'm not allowed to touch you?” Yara nudged a sleeping Theon off her and turned to Nash.

Nash shifted uncomfortably and huffed, “I didn't say that, just . . . yer getting awfully _familiar_ with me.”

Yara put her hand on Nash's stomach, pulling his shirt up and stroking over his navel, “You've never complained before.”

“I'm not complaining now, I just don't see why yer doin' this.”

“Boredom, drunk, there's a few reasons take your pick. Look, c'mon, Nash, Theon is sleeping-”

“And there's no telling when he'll wake up again.” Nash pointed out, watching Yara's fingers as they went for his belt, “He has nightmares, remember?”

“He'll be fine.” Yara murmured, tugging open Nash's trousers but the man sat up and pushed her back, “What?”

“I can't do this. You don't want me for the right reasons,” Nash muttered, tightening his belt and looking away, “Not tonight, alright? I can't pretend all the time.”

Yara sat up and glared at Nash, “You think he'll want you for the _right reasons_? Nash, wake up, alright? You have as much a chance with Theon as you do with any man! Why not just be with me and be satisfied?”

She scooted over to Nash, taking his hand, but Nash pulled away, glaring at her,

“That's not fair.”

“But it's true.” Yara pointed out, “You're so miserable and lonely but here I am offering you a chance to be hap-”

“I would _not_ be happy, Yara!” Nash got to his feet and stomped to the door, subsequently waking Theon up, “And I will _not_ sacrifice what little happiness I have found because yer 'bored an' drunk', go fuck yourself!”

The door slammed behind Nash and Yara was left fuming,

“Ungrateful cunt.” She muttered, glaring after Nash.

Theon blinked bleerily in confusion, “What-”

“Nothing, go to bed.” Yara got to her feet and was about to also leave then stopped, took Nash's coat from the corner and then also stomped out.

Theon blinked again, not sure what had happened at all, he gathered himself up and went to his own room, deciding that whatever _had_ happened was not his business.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Rape scene

Theon tried to keep up with Nash as the man took surprisingly long strides that belied his height,

“A-Are we in some kind of hurry?” Theon asked tentatively, keeping in mind that Nash and Yara both seemed to be in foul moods this morning when the ship made port.

“No, we are not.” Nash muttered, “Keep up.”

“I'm t-trying.” Theon stumbled a few times as he tried to limp faster.

They made it to the shop that Yara had mentioned, it was some kind of transcribing firm, focusing mostly in old maps or something. Theon didn't catch all of what Nash and the man were saying and before he could ask what that was all about, Nash was grabbing his arm and steering him back out of the shop and into the street.

“'m not ready ta head back an' we got some time, wanna get a drink?” Nash asked, not looking at Theon and clearly still upset.

“I don't have much choice, do I?”

"Not really."

Nash turned them in the opposite direction of the harbor and down a side-street and proceeded to hurry his way through the crowd, gripping Theon's arm tightly so as not to lose him.

* * *

The tavern was a complete dive wedged between to large buildings of questionable occupancy and Theon's skin crawled with how closely some of the patrons of the tavern watched him, but Nash got them a table and ordered them both strong drinks. Theon nursed his, feeling it was too early for this kind of thing, also his stomach felt queasy from the night before.

He watched Nash tip back his drink then grab Theon's and drank it down, then he wiped his mouth and was about to say something but stopped with his mouth hanging open, his eyes fixed to one side of the bar. Theon stared at Nash for a moment then leaned over to ask him what was wrong but Nash only shook his head minutely, his eyes still fixed,

“ . . . did Yara give Herst the boot?”

Theon blinked, “I don't know, why?”

“Don't turn around but he's sitting at the bar watching us.”

Theon felt his spine stiffen and his eyes widened in fear, “What do we do?”

Nash slowly reached for his pocket only noticing now that he wasn't wearing his coat and thereby didn't have his knife, his face paled and he scooted a bit closer to Theon,

“ . . . you wouldn't happen to have a blade on ya, would ya?”

Theon swallowed and shook his head, “No . . . do you expect trouble?”

“And a half.” Nash closed his eyes for a moment then nodded, “Theon, we're leaving. Now.”

Theon nodded and stood when Nash pushed his chair back, the two made their way to the door, Theon glanced back and swallowed,

“They're-They're following u-”

“I know, c'mon.” Nash snarled, grabbing Theon and pushing him ahead as they got out on the street, “Take a left.”

Theon turned and they were in an alley, “Is this a good id-”

“Faster this way.” Nash huffed.

Theon nodded and was about to ask what the plan was when he heard a yelp behind him, he turned in time to get punched in the face and hauled around by a large man he recognized as one of Herst's. Meanwhile Herst and two other man slammed Nash to the alley wall, Herst grinned as he stepped back, a long knife in his hand,

“So ya squealed to dear, ol Yara Greyjoy and got me booted off the _Iron Maiden_ , not nice to tattle-tale, Pyke.” Herst chuckled as his men held Nash tightly, the dark-haired sailor struggled which earned him a punch to the gut.

Nash doubled over as much as they would let him and coughed, “Yeh? What'cha gonna do?”

“Let us go!” Theon struggled again but Herst just sneered.

“I found a little somethin' out, Pyke,” Herst leaned forward, stroking the tip of his knife along Nash's jawline, making the sailor lean his head back, “See, my boy here saw somethin' ya didn' want him ta, somethin' ya was hidin'. Now at the time, we all laughed him out the door, thinking there is _no way_ what he was sayin' 'bout ya was remotely truthful.”

“Yer drunk.” Nash snapped, “Let me go an' I won't kill all of ya!”

“Not nearly drunk as ya think,” Herst smiled then reached down and stroked the front of Nash's trousers, making Nash's eyes widen and he bucked back, trying to kick at Herst but his legs were soundly pinned by the men holding him, “Not _nearly_ as drunk as ya think.”

“Let me go!” Nash gasped as the blade was pressed into his neck, “Please, please, Herst, let me go an' I swear I'll give ya whatever ya want!”

Herst chuckled, leaning closer to Nash, “Ol' Nash Pyke here has a little secret, see, not what _he_ appears ta be.”

Nash made a strangled noise as Herst ripped the front of his trousers open and pulled out a wadded up pair of socks, chucking it to the ground,

“There's her cock, boys, just some socks she cleverly tied in her britches,” Herst smiled as pushed Nash's trousers down further, exposing his cunt, “Nothing but a little girl playin' dress-up!”

Theon's eyes widened and his mouth fell open, “ . . . Nash . . . ?”

Nash hissed out a breath as he tried to fight, the knife biting into his neck, “Stop!”

“Shh, shh, darlin', won't hurt if ya hold still.” Herst smirked, his fingers of his free hand stroking over Nash's sex.

Then Nash threw his head back and sobbed, “No . . . _please_ . . . !“

Herst leaned in closer, running his tongue over Nash's lips only to get it bitten, hard,

“Agh! Ya bitch! I was gonna give it to ya easy, but ya've pissed me off!” Blood trickled down Herst's chin as he growled.

He pulled his cock out, readying to put it in, but Theon felt something in him break, the memory of Ramsay raping him, raping Sansa, taking what didn't belong to him, the memories flooding back and he found himself howling and breaking free of the man's grip, he rushed forward into Herst and knocked him to the ground, taking the knife and stabbing Herst's shoulder, twisting the knife as the man shrieked. The two men holding Nash let him go and hurried to throw Theon back and help Herst to his feet and out of the alley with the third man following behind.

Theon sat on the ground for a moment breathing before he turned to Nash who was slumped on the ground hugging himself and breathing raggedly, his chin bleed from where the knife had slipped when Theon tackled Herst. Theon blinked and slowly crawled over to Nash, his fingers trembling and he swallowed,

“Nash? They're gone, it's alright now.”

Nash's eyes slowly lifted and they were wide and terrified like a small animal in a trap, his breath halted and stuttered past trembling lips. Theon reached out but Nash pulled back, staring at the ground, Theon nodded and moved to sit next to Nash, resting his elbows on his knees,

“I understand. It's okay, Yara won't leave without us, take your time.” He said gently.

Nash took several moments to pull his pants up and tie them up as best as he could then leaned against the wall and took a deep breath, tears rolled down his face,

“ . . . so now you know.”

Theon looked slowly at Nash, “If . . . if it makes you feel better, I never would have known.”

Nash laughed shortly then sobbed, “Sure . . . I thought I was so careful . . . “

“Honest,” Theon murmured, “I don't think anyone can guess anymore than they would with me.”

Nash turned to look tearfully at Theon, “You mean that?”

“No reason to lie about it.” Theon nodded slowly, “It's alright.”

Nash stared down at his hands, “ . . . he almost . . . if you hadn't done what you did . . . “

Theon put his hand on Nash's shoulder, “He didn't and I couldn't let him.”

Nash slowly looked at Theon, his face crumbling as he sobbed, throwing himself at Theon and hugging him tightly and tucking his face into Theon's shoulder. Theon hugged him back and stroked his hair gently,

“Shh, I'm here . . . they aren't going to hurt you . . . “ Theon whispered, “I'm here . . . “

Theon let Nash cry it out until he calmed then they sat against the wall for a long moment. Nash wiped his nose on his hat then put it back on his head,

“We . . . we should get back to the ship b'fore Yara sends out search parties.”

Theon nodded, getting to his feet and offering Nash a hand-up, “Right, she would do that, wouldn't she?”

Nash took the proffered hand and got shakily to his feet, shaking a leg to get the feeling back in it, “Yeh, she would, Yara gets more worried than a mother hen.”

They stood facing each other, Nash looked away first, swallowing thickly,

“Theon, can I tell ya something?”

“Yes.”

“I want ta kiss ya, but I don't think it'll mean anything to ya.” Nash rubbed the back of his neck, a tear slid down his face, “I like ya . . . “

Theon blinked then shifted his weight, “ . . . I . . . I'm not ready for that, I don't think.”

Nash looked up in confusion, “ _You_ aren't ready?”

Theon hugged himself, “ . . . I don't know, I just . . . can I ease into knowing you like that?”

The taller man blinked then nodded slowly, “I get it, I just . . . I'm grateful for what ya did.”

“I wasn't trying to be a hero.” Theon said softly, looking down at his feet.

Nash took a step closer and tipped Theon's head up, “Just a small one on the cheek? Please?”

Theon blinked then nodded, Nash leaned in and gently kissed him on the cheek, then he hugged him again,

“Let's go back to the ship.”

Theon's hands slid over Nash's back and gripped his shirt tightly,

“Yeah.”

* * *

Yara looked both Nash and Theon over with her hands firmly on her hips and a disapproving look on her face, “Would either of you two kindly explain why the maps I ordered got here before you did and why you look like you lost a fight?”

“Well we won the fight.” Nash shrugged.

Theon smiled a little at Yara's frown deepening, “It wasn't what you think, just some men trying to stir up trouble.”

“Nash, a word?” Yara pointed to her quarters, “Theon, dinner is waiting in your room.”

Theon and Nash exchanged looks then the redhead waved and went off toward his own rooms while Nash followed Yara into the Captain's quarters,

“What?”

Yara held out Nash's coat, “You forgot this.”

“Did I?” Nash took his longcoat and slung it onto his shoulders, “Now what do you want?”

“I want you to tell me what happened. The truth.” Yara turned and cocked a hip.

“It was a fight at a bar, I was in a foul mood an' some ass picked a fight with us. We soundly trounced them an' came trottin' home, not much else ta tell.” Nash shrugged nonchalantly.

“Where's your pack then?” Yara narrowed her eyes.

Nash's cheeks reddened, “What are ya goin' on about?”

Yara strode up to Nash and pointed at the crotch of his trousers, “If all that happened was that you got in a scuffle, where is your pack?”

Nash grimaced and patted the front of his trousers which did give a bit without the socks, “I, uh, I think I left it here.”

“You have _never_ forgotten to pack, not once even in the middle of a maelstrom have you forgotten. What really happened, Nash Argus Pyke?” Yara's voice rose a few decibels but her eyes gave away her concern.

Nash swallowed thickly, “Herst an' his cronies happened . . . they found out about me.”

Yara's eyes widened and she slumped a bit, “I . . . I'm sorry, I didn't think about that . . . “

“And I forgot my coat so I didn't have a weapon an' Theon doesn't carry one so . . . we were at a disadvantage but Theon kicked into action b'fore they could do anything to me.” Nash shrugged, not looking at Yara.

Yara shook her head, “I should have been with you.”

“Don't be daft, ya had a ship ta run, look, I'm fine, he didn't manage ta do anything ta me,” Nash smiled, “Theon was a right little hero, he took out two men bigger than him without even thinking.”

“So he knows now?” Yara moved to pour them each a drink, her hands shook slightly but it seemed to be more with anger than anything.

“Theon? Yeah . . . he saw.” Nash nodded his thanks for the drink.

“And?” Yara tipped her drink back and went for another.

“He said he needs time to think about 'knowing me' like that, but he let me kiss him so there's that.” Nash murmured, drinking the alcohol down and grimacing, “Gotta take what I can get.”

Yara was quiet for a moment then sighed, “Suppose I've lost to Theon then, have I?”

“Ya had ta know my heart wasn't in it, Yara . . . yer a woman.” Nash reached out and touched her hand, “It doesn't mean I love ya less, just a different manner o' love.”

Yara smiled sadly and squeezed Nash's hand, “Gotta take what I can get.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Nash is a gay transgender man, something he and I have in common. Trying to write these situations as realistically and delicately as I can, being trans is not easy and it is difficult to write certain parts correctly like how the fuck do I write about gay sex between a man and a transman? I'm a gay transman and I'm stil stuck on that so please be patient with me, I'm doing my best with this.


	4. Chapter 4

Theon leaned on the railing of his sister's ship, the _Iron Maiden_ , staring out into the early morning horizon, the sky was cloudy and the water reflected it in gray and dark blue hues, he sighed deeply and closed his eyes,

“Morning.”

Yara stood next to him, resting her elbows on the railing as well, “Morning. You sleep alright?”

“Mhm.” Theon looked at her, “Are you going to ask me about the other day?”

Yara had been oddly distant and quiet about the incident with Herst, she had already replaced the bosun with a new man (a scruffy older man named Gus or something) but otherwise it was like the whole event hadn't happened at all. He watched Yara's expression go blank and she huffed out a misty breath into the sea air, her eyebrows furrowing in thought then she turned to look at him,

“What's to talk about? You saved Nash from a terrible thing happening to him, you're both safe and I'll kill Herst if I ever see his ugly mug around any of my ships again. Sounds pretty cut and dry to me.”

“That's not what I meant,” Theon said softly, breaking eye contact to stare at his fingernails, “I mean about Nash and . . . everything else.”

“Everything else?”

“I know you liked Nash, he said as much, and I was just . . . I feel bad about-”

“Theon.”

Theon looked up quickly, thinking he'd done something wrong, “I-I . . . if you don't want me to be with Nash, whatever that means, then I won't. I swear I won't even talk to him if it upsets you.”

Yara regarded Theon with a strange, uncharacteristically patient look, “Would that make you happy?”

Theon shifted uncomfortably, dropping his gaze again, “ . . . no.”

“Then why would that make me happy?” Yara asked gently.

“I don't know.”

“Do you want to be with Nash?”

Theon bit his lip and sighed, “I don't even know what that would mean, to be honest . . . I don't know how to do anything anymore and I don't know what I would even want or how to ask for it anymore . . . Mast- . . . _Ramsay_ took so much from me, not just when he . . . when he cut me, but I don't know if I'm strong enough to be with someone anymore.”

The water lapped at the boat rhythmically as Yara stood staring at Theon, she swallowed slowly,

“Do you . . . _feel_ anything anymore? Like . . . you know, down there?”

Theon blushed and wouldn't look up, “ . . . it's difficult to explain.”

“You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, I just want you to feel safe and happy with whatever comes next.” Yara reached out and tucked some of Theon's curls behind his ear, his hair needed to be cut soon.

Theon smiled sadly, “I don't think anything will change at all. I think that Nash will try and I'll try but in the end nothing will happen and we'll be as we were before. I don't think it's worth the trouble.”

“If you let him try, he might surprise you,” Yara muttered, turning back to the railing, “You won't know if you don't try.”

Theon was quiet as he looked at Yara and how she was staring at the ocean with a neutral, unreadable expression on her face,

“What did you two have?”

“We played pretend and tried to enjoy each other,” Yara shrugged, “It was alright for passing the time between making port, gets lonely and dull otherwise. We did what we could and then when it was over, we'd sleep facing away from each other.”

“And you think it will be any different for him and I?”

Yara snorted, “Well for one thing, you're a man so-”

“Not really. Not anymore.” Theon cut in, pursing his lips angrily.

Yara looked at Theon and narrowed her eyes, “Is Nash a man?”

“Well, I mean, he-”

“Is he?” Yara pressed sharply.

Theon swallowed and ducked his head, “Yes, he is.”

“So explain to me, how are you less of a man than he is? You've seen what he's working with and you still think he's as much a man as any, why not you?” Yara looked annoyed and that made Theon nervous.

“But . . . but how would we . . . you know.”

“Fuck?”

Theon blushed again, “Yes.”

“Worked just fine for us, I told you he might surprise you.” Yara shrugged, “Besides last I heard you knew your way around the female body just fine.”

“I don't want to talk about this anymore.” Theon said quickly, covering his ears as his face grew even redder.

Yara laughed, “Oh, c'mon, Theon! You can talk to your old sister about fucking women! Nothing you've done would shock me!”

Theon made a strangled squeaking sound and hurried to go belowdecks, giving hurried excuses as Yara laughed at his retreating back.

* * *

Nash was sitting at a table in the galley sketching on some scrap parchment when Theon finished his work, he wiped his hands on his apron and slowly made his way to sit across from Nash. The sailor looked up from what he was drawing to look at Theon,

“'lo there.”

Theon smiled slightly and folded his hands on the tabletop, licking his lips nervously, “I . . . I've given it a lot of thought.”

Nash leaned back, tucking the paper and charcoal into one of his coat pockets, “Given what a lot of thought?”

“You and me . . . things like that.” Theon shrugged, trying desperately to be nonchalant and casual but he seemed to forget how to do that as his hands shook so badly he had to hurriedly put them in his lap or risk embarrassing himself.

“I see,” Nash noted Theon's hands before they disappeared out of sight and put his elbows on the table, “An' what conclusions have ya drawn up regarding these 'things'?”

Theon took a slow, hopefully steadying breath and managed to lift his chin off his chest and look Nash in the eye, “I want you to sleep with me at night instead of with Yara.”

Nash blinked and his ear reddened, “Is that so?”

“I . . . I, uh, well, I think that, given the circumstances and, and uh, um,” Theon bit his lip to stop his stuttering and lowered his eyes again, “You don't have to if you don't want to. If you would rather stay with her, I understand, I just thought maybe you might rather be with . . . with me.”

Nash leaned forward and took Theon's chin in his hand, “Would that make _you_ comfortable? Ya don't have ta do somethin' ta make me happy if it worries ya so.”

Theon shook his head slightly, blinking rapidly, it seemed a lot of people were thinking about his happiness and he was very much not used to it, “You don't understand, I . . . I want this, I just . . . I'm scared and I don't know what to do about it, but you and Yara make me feel . . . like I'm . . . human.”

Nash's face hardened, “Ya are human, what do ya mean by that?”

“No, I mean . . . like I'm not a broken thing that Yara needs to fix or you need to be so gentle with. I know that there are parts of me that are broken, parts in my head, that do need to be fixed and handled gently, that I can't face just yet, but you see you make me feel like I'm alright to face those things. What happened in the alley, that urge to protect you and stop the bad thing from happening, that occurred another time when Lady Sansa was going to be killed by Ramsay's bitch, I didn't think, I just acted. I knew what I had to do and it made all the bad things go away and I realize I am explaining this very badly but I just want to be whole again.”

Nash blinked slowly, his fingers shifted so he could stroke Theon's cheek gently, smiling slightly when Theon leaned into the touch, “I don't know what all that means or what I should do about it, but I want ta help ya, Theon, I wanna show ya that yer not nearly as broken as ya think. Deep down I know that there is something special in ya, some shining quality worth diggin' for, past all the shite ya went through and I'm willing ta put in the time.”

Theon nuzzled Nash's fingers lightly, enjoying the rough pads of Nash's work-worn fingers as they tenderly stroked his face, the simple joy of being shown affection was incredibly intoxicating to the point that Theon was unbalanced and almost fell over when Nash's hand dropped suddenly. Theon's head snapped up in alarm thinking he'd been too eager or too forward or done something he shouldn't have but relaxed when he saw that Nash only moved to take one of Theon's hands out from under the table to hold it tightly.

Theon's heart swelled or stopped, it was hard to tell which thing happened but he smiled.

* * *

Nash draped his coat around Theon backwards and fastened the top button, taking out a pair of shears and began to snip away the unruly curls that threatened to over take the Greyjoy's head while he perched on a low stool. Theon allowed his mind to wander about as the steady schwick-schwick of the shears filled his ears with white noise, Nash puffed on a pipe above his head and the smell of the smoke was also strangely soothing. He breathed out slowly in the contented silence, enjoying the feeling of Nash's fingers buried in his hair was such a contrast to how Ramsay would tug and pull on his hair to control him . . .

 _No,_ Theon thought to himself, frowning as he forcibly pulled his thought to the present, _that was then, this is now, stay here._

Theon closed his eyes and smiled as Nash set the shears aside and began to massage Theon's scalp gently,

“Ya got the prettiest red hair, Theon . . . “ Nash murmured, he leaned down and tilted Theon's head back, kissing his neck lightly while he brushed the loose hair off Theon's shoulders.

Theon shivered slightly and leaned into Nash, “ . . . thank you.”

Nash chuckled against Theon's skin, undoing the coat button and chucking the garment to the side, his fingers stroking over Theon's shoulders and upper arms. Theon shifted back further, his eyelids fluttering. Nash's hands wandered over his body in slow, calculated motions as if he was mapping out every inch, committing it to memory. His lips were equally curious, searching out spots on Theon's neck and jaw until there didn't seem to be any part he hadn't kissed and Theon was starting to feel a bit warm under the collar, but then the stool tilted too far back and Theon yelped as he and Nash both fell over backward in an ungainly heap on the floor.

Nash blinked down at Theon who was sprawled backward on the sailor's stomach, “Sorry about that.”

Theon shifted and leaned up, tentatively putting his lips on Nash's much to the other man's surprise but he quickly recovered, tucking one hand behind Theon's head and the other took Theon's hand. Theon closed his eyes while they kissed, getting as close to Nash as he could before finally pulling away and sitting on Nash's waist, his eyes downcast for a moment as he gathered himself.

Nash's fingers stroked slowly over Theon's thigh, “Ya a'ight?”

“Mhm, I'm fine.” Theon murmured, “We should . . . go before someone sees us.”

“Ya think they won't figure things out whether they see us or not?” Nash slowly sat up, cradling Theon in his lap.

“It . . . it's not that I . . . I'm not _ready_ for people to figure things out. Not yet.” Theon mumbled, touching the knuckle of one of his missing fingers on his left hand, it was an odd habit he'd picked up, tugging on the reduced digits.

Nash watched Theon fretting for a moment then quickly enclosed the prince's hands in his own, “Alright, that's fine, Theon. It's late anyhow, we should probably turn in.”

Theon blinked and nodded slowly, “I suppose you're right.”

They sat like that for a bit longer before Nash dropped his hands and cleared his throat,

“Ya gonna get up or do ya want me ta carry ya?”

Theon started slightly and quickly got up, “Sorry, sorry.”

“No worries, legs still work.” Nash got to his feet, shook out his coat and shrugged it back on, “Ya still want me with ya t'night?”

Theon felt his heartbeat hitch up to a quick-march, “Y-Yes.”

Nash cocked an eyebrow, “'m not convinced.”

“No, I do, really.” Theon quickly took Nash's hand and squeezed it, “I do.”

Nash fixed Theon with a look then nodded, “Alright, let's go.”

* * *

Theon was shaking as he shut the door behind them, Nash looked around at the modest room, it didn't look like anyone actually slept in the room it was so devoid of any personal effects and everything was impeccably neat and well-ordered.

Nash turned to Theon and leaned back on a small table wedged in the corner, “So.”

Theon bit his lip, “So?”

“How do ya want ta do this?”

“Do what?”

Nash sighed and took his hat off, “Do ya want me ta leave my boots on?”

Theon blinked then blushed when he figured out what Nash was asking, “Oh . . . um, no.”

Nash nodded and pulled his longcoat off and kicked off his boots, “Hope yer not _too_ disappointed.”

Theon scoffed, “Shouldn't I be the one saying that?”

“Not really. I know what ya might be hopin' you'll see and I can promise ya I don't look that great.” Nash unlaced his cotton shirt and pulled it over his head.

Theon stared at Nash's bare torso, he had two thick scars going diagonally from his shoulders to sternum and no nipples, his stomach was tight and the muscles stood out but right above where his trousers's waist was was a thick scar spanning from hip to hip. Theon was just starting to admire the many tattoos Nash had (a few swirling designs coupled with fearsome looking creatures of the deep) and only belatedly noticed Nash was staring at him, he quickly averted his gaze fearing he'd looked too long.

Nash chuckled, “Ya can look all ya like.”

“I . . . I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“I'm over that phase, trust me, my skin is the most comfortable thing I can think of.” Nash smiled and took Theon's hand, “Ya can look at me.”

Theon lifted his gaze and smiled a little, “Can I ask about them? The scars?”

Nash nodded, gesturing to his chest, “Had a healer take my tits off when I was younger,” then he tapped his stomach, “Had another scoop me out when it became too problematic on long voyages.”

“Scoop you out?” Theon tilted his head, his fingers reaching out to shakily touch one of Nash's chest scars.

“Aye, took out my lady parts.” Nash took a step closer and tapped his thick leather belt, “Can I take the rest off or is this enough?”

“If you're alright with it, you can.” Theon licked his lips nervously as Nash nodded and undid the belt and dropped his trousers, his small clothes bulged slightly with his pack, “I mean, I've seen everything else so . . . you know.”

Nash hesitated slightly then pulled the pack out and set it on the table before dropping his small clothes to the floor and stood naked in front of Theon,

“There ya go, in all m'glory.” Nash smiled slightly but it was shaky and he was clearly unsure about it.

Theon smiled and stepped closer, his fingers sliding over Nash's hip, putting his forehead on Nash's shoulder and breathing in the sailor's scent, it was like worn leather, the smell of the sea and a slight tang of sweat but it was quite pleasant really. Nash stroked his fingers over Theon's head and shoulders, pulling him close and holding him tightly.

“You're beautiful.” Theon whispered, turning his head slightly and closing his eyes.

Nash tilted his head and swallowed thickly, “ . . . ya think so?”

“Mhm.” Theon nodded, breathing in deeply.

“Yer turn then?” Nash asked, his fingers brushing over Theon's belt.

Theon shivered and stepped back, fidgeting slightly and licking his lips, “I . . . I suppose it's only fair.”

Nash stepped back and sat on the edge of the bed, “Ya don't have ta if-”

“No, it's fine,” Theon shook his head and started to pull his shirt over his head, “Everyone seems overly concerned with how happy or comfortable I am lately . . . I would rather just try and make someone else happy, I'm far better at pleasing other people than I am pleasing myself.”

Nash tilted his head back and blinked slowly, his mouth set in a frown, “I didn't mean ta upset ya.”

“You didn't,” Theon dropped his shirt and huffed, his fingers twitching slightly over his belt before he slowly started to undo it, stopping with the slack holding the buckle up, “I just . . . I'm never going to get better if everyone keeps carrying me.”

Nash shrugged, his eyes fixed on the many scars on Theon's chest and stomach and the slight tilt of his stature, “We don't know what else ta do.”

“Neither do I,” Theon admitted, “But I don't think I'm so weak that I can't at least take a few steps on my own.”

He slowly started to lower his trousers to the floor, he didn't wear small clothes as it didn't really matter so he stood naked and blushing in front of Nash, his eyes fixed to the floor but off to the side so he wouldn't have to look down at the scars between his legs. Nash slowly got to his feet and stood in front of Theon, his hand moved to rest on the wing of Theon's hip, stroking Theon's pale skin with his thumb gently. He leaned forward and kissed Theon's ear,

“Yer beautiful.”

Theon's eyes widened and he jolted a bit in shock, “N-No . . . no I'm not.”

Nash snorted and kissed his jaw, “I say ya are.”

Theon's body shuddered and he hiccuped, shaking his head as Nash pulled him closer, “No, I'm not. I'm broken and ugly.”

Nash shook his head, his hand running slowly over Theon's spine, feeling the sharp ridges of bone, “I won't argue with ya on this, I say yer beautiful an' that's that.”

Theon shuddered and clung to Nash, his face pressed into the sailor's neck and he willed himself to _not_ cry. He felt them moving backward toward the bed and he allowed Nash to tug him under the blankets, peppering his face and neck with kisses while he cuddled Theon. Theon forgot how good it felt to have gentle hands and warm caresses on his body, he'd forgotten what it felt like to not have affection followed or preceded by agony, forgotten what a soft spoken word without a mocking tone or insult sounded like, what a lover's kiss felt like without having teeth follow.

Theon laid in bed with Nash, his face pressed against the taller man's chest and he couldn't catch all of what Nash was saying due to the heavy contentment of sleep stealing over him, but he was certain they were lovely, kind words just like the fingers the carded through his hair.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a pretty difficult fic to write, not going to lie. That being said if it goes without updates for extended periods of time, it's not because I'm not writing, it's because it's taking a long-ass time to get things right and written out and even then I sit and re-read shit a lot and waffle about how I want to say things regarding Nash. Thank you for your patience.

Theon's eyes fluttered open and he shifted in his bed then stiffened when he felt another body next to his, momentarily panicking until he heard the sea lapping at the side of the boat and the sound of sailors on the early watch above them, he relaxed again when he realized where he was and who was with him.

He stared up at Nash who was sound asleep, the sailor had one arm above his head gripping one of the headboard rails and his mouth hung open slightly. Theon smiled slightly then shifted, his chin resting on Nash's chest just above one of the sailor's scars, he looked slowly down at them, his fingers stroking over the puckered skin and skating down the ridges of Nash's abdominal muscles to his navel. Nash looked so . . . perfect, really, it was hard to explain but Theon still was floored by Nash being anything but who he was now. He tried to see Nash as he was before in his mind's eye, he pictured a tall, rebellious young woman, pushing against the world's view of her and how she should be and behave, something courageous and strong, with a look in her eye like she'd kill you as soon as look at you if you crossed her.

Theon furrowed his brow, no . . . even that felt wrong and just _off_ , in fact the more he tried to fit Nash into another role, the muddier the picture became, no, Nash was Nash. Theon propped himself up on his elbow and ran his hand gently over Nash's side, his eyes glancing at the dark-haired man's face to see if he woke him. Nash breathed in deeply and sighed but stayed fast asleep. Theon licked his lips and with a trembling hand began to push the blanket down toward Nash's knees, his eyes taking in Nash's long, lean body. Theon's fingers stroked over the other man's thigh, he wasn't quite sure what he was doing really, but something about being this close felt like maybe _something_ could come of the two of them being together. It might have been hope but Theon hadn't had hope in so long he wasn't sure what it felt like anymore.

The prince shifted lower onto the bed, he swallowed thickly then breathed out through his mouth, his breath puffed against Nash's skin and the sleeping man mumbled and stretched. Theon froze for a moment, gauging whether Nash was going to move or not then when nothing more happened, he carefully pushed Nash's legs apart further and lowered his mouth, kissing the soft skin of Nash's inner thigh, deftly moving closer to Nash's groin then extending his tongue and delicately tasting him.

Nash groaned softly, one of his legs bent and he breathed out deeply, Theon looked up through his eyelashes as he continued kissing and licking Nash's sex until he thought it was wet enough and slipped one of his fingers into the warm embrace of Nash's body. Theon panted while he crooked his finger and ran his tongue over Nash's clit while the sleeping man shifted and squirmed around his finger. He felt a stirring between his own legs and reached down to stroke over the mound of flesh that remained of his penis.

Nash yelped and sat up, his leg kicking out and his knee caught Theon in the face, sending him backwards off the bed.

“Ouch . . . “ Theon rubbed his eye that started to swell and bruise.

Nash breathed in and out through his mouth, his chest heaving and his eyes were wide, “What . . . ?”

“Sorry, I-I thought . . . “ Theon grimaced and knelt on the floor, “I don't really know what I thought, sorry . . . I didn't mean to startle you.”

Nash blinked then reached down to touch himself, “What were ya . . . ?”

Theon blushed, “I . . . I uh, one time Yara . . . I overheard her talking about doing that sort of thing . . . I thought you might like it.”

Nash blinked at Theon, “No, but _what_ were ya _doing_?”

“U-Using my mouth.” Theon stared at his hands, his face growing hot.

Nash stared wide-eyed at the far wall, “Oh.”

“Did I . . . Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.” Theon whispered, licking his lips miserably.

“I . . . I just . . . give me a moment.” Nash sat on the bed with his legs tucked under him and bit his lip.

Theon shivered slightly and swallowed, the silence felt too heavy and he felt he'd already ruined this. He hadn't asked permission to do anything, let alone _that_. He hadn't asked Nash what he liked or didn't like, hadn't thought to wake him, Theon had partially been afraid to ask and partially wasn't sure he knew what to do or if he'd do it properly and now Nash was staring at him with a strange look on his face. Tears welled up in Theon's eyes and he hugged himself,

“ . . . I'm sorry.” he whispered.

Nash moved to the edge of the bed and swung his long legs over the edge to set them on the floor in front of Theon, he leaned forward to try and catch Theon's eye but the redhead kept lowering his head further until he was hunched over on himself,

“S'alright, Theon, really, just didn't know what that was all 'bout.” Nash reached out and grabbed at Theon's face, “Don't do that again while I'm sleeping, alright?”

Theon whimpered and nodded, “I won't, I promise, I won't.”

Nash's brow furrowed and his frown deepened, “Ya don't have ta be afraid of me, Theon, just wouldn't like it much if I kicked ya again, s'alright, 'm not mad.”

“I-I know that, I'm trying.”

Nash shook his head and snorted, “Clearly.”

Theon watched Nash lean back on the bed and puff his cheeks out, his eyes darted about while he seemed to contemplate something then he cleared his throat and shifted his weight,

“Ya . . . uh, ya wanna show me what ya were doing?”

Theon blinked then nodded slowly, “I can do that . . . if you want me to.”

“I asked, didn't I?” Nash bit his lip and still wouldn't look at Theon.

Theon moved slowly closer, “I mean, you want me to do that now?”

“Yeh.” Nash closed his eyes and clenched his jaw.

Thron blinked in confusion, “Why do you look like you're asking me to cut a limb off then?”

“It's . . . It's _difficult_ for me, alright?” Nash grumbled.

“I don't understand.” Theon sat on the bed, gingerly rubbing at his eye which wasn't nearly swollen as bad as he thought it would be.

Nash sighed heavily and sat up, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees and he took a deep breath, letting it out slowly,

“It's just hard for me ta be with anyone, alright? Spent my whole life letting any harbor scum with a copper piece do what he wanted with me an' 'm not . . . 'm not used ta having something like this with ya. Something I want. It's gonna take me a bit ta relax an' get comfortable with it. Trust me, Theon, it's not you, it's me.”

Theon put his hand gently on Nash's back and rubbed his shoulders gently, “I'm sorry, I wish I could help with that.”

Nash turned his head and smiled a bit, “Ya can, start by just acting like 'm anyone else. I'll relax, I promise, an' once we get me sorted, it's your turn.”

“My turn?” Theon cocked his head to the side and looked down at his groin, “There's . . . there's not much you can do with this.”

Nash smirked and sat up, leaning over to kiss Theon's cheek gently, “Ya think you're the only eunuch I've met? I can work my magic with ya, I can help ya get yer rocks off an' leave ya tremblin' like a newborn fawn.”

Theon breathed in sharply, his eyes closing, “How do you intend to do that?”

“Gonna take some time an' 'm gonna need ya ta trust me, but I can make ya see stars.” Nash smiled, planting an open-mouthed kiss against Theon's neck.

Theon shivered and turned his head, catching Nash in a long kiss while the sailor took his trembling hand and put it back between his legs. Theon opened his eyes slightly as Nash started to lay back, Theon stroked his fingers slowly over Nash, watching the struggle of caution and pleasure flutter over the man's face before he shifted to spread his legs.

Theon dipped his head back down and ran his tongue slowly over Nash, closing his eyes as he went about sucking and kissing until Nash let out a soft moaning sound. He looked up as he laved his tongue over Nash's clit and felt himself smiling when he saw Nash's face, blushing with open-mouthed moans and pants. Theon worked his jaw as he delved deeper with his tongue, replacing it with a finger then two as Nash bucked back onto him.

“Fuck . . . _fuck_ Theon . . . that's . . . oh gods . . . ! Nash made a high-pitched, choked gasp then sat up, gripping Theon's hair in either fist and rode Theon's face as he came in gasping, incoherent curse words.

Theon sat back and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand once let him go, staring with a sense of pride as Nash panted and flopped back onto the bed with heavy-lidded eyes,

“I, uh, I take it you enjoyed that?”

Nash nodded, “Mhm, immensely.”

Theon smiled and slipped down to cuddle up to Nash, nuzzling under Nash's chin and hugging him, thrilling when Nash stroked a hand over his back and hair. Theon was content to just fall back asleep until he felt Nash's other hand on his stomach, running through the thin line of red hairs there. He looked up quizzically at the sailor but Nash's eyes were closed, Theon squirmed slightly as Nash's fingers slipped down to the scars,

“ . . . Nash?”

“Shh, 's'alright . . . just relax.” Nash turned his head and kissed Theon's forehead.

Theon closed his eyes and tried to do just that, but it was difficult as Nash's fingers stroked and squeezed at scarred flesh that hardly felt anything and even the little he could feel was a strange mixture of tingling pain and bursts of slight pleasure. He squirmed again and tried to convey his discomfort but Nash only held him tighter, his fingers down there becoming more insistent and the touches more deliberate and harder. Theon groaned softly when Nash touched a particularly sensitive spot and shook his head,

“Stop.”

Nash opened his eyes and pulled his hand back, “No?”

“I just, it's hard to explain.” Theon mumbled, tucking his head more into Nash so he wouldn't see how distressed Theon was.

“Try.” Nash murmured, his fingers moving to stroke at Theon's flank instead.

Theon bit his lip and shook his head fretfully, “I can't.”

“Yes, ya can,” Nash breathed into Theon's hair, “Ya can talk ta me, take yer time an' find the words then we'll work from there.”

Theon swallowed thickly and whimpered, “ . . . alright . . . I . . . it's like it feels good but doesn't at the same time and . . . and I want you to keep going but to stop too. I feel like there's something down there that might feel good but there's so much more that doesn't.”

Nash huffed and stared at the ceiling for a moment then nodded, “Well, it's a start, anyway, I guess.”

“I-I'm sorry I-”

“Don't.” Nash said sharply then he sighed and pulled Theon closer, “Ya have nothing to apologize for, I'm just trying ta think.”

Theon nodded miserably and closed his eyes tightly, “I'm sor-, I mean, I don't mean to be difficult.”

“'m pretty sure ya didn't ask ta have yer cock an' balls chopped off.” Nash rolled onto his side, tilting Theon's chin up, “Alright, here, I have another idea, but 'm gonna need ya ta trust me. Can ya do that?”

Theon blinked then nodded, “I can. What are you going to do?”

Nash shook his head and grimaced, “Ya won't like it if I explain it so I'll just do it and we'll see what ya think.”

Theon bit his lip and whined a bit as he tried to decide if this was worth it then nodded slowly at his groin throbbed insistently, “A-Alright, if you're sure about this.”

Nash nodded, “Lie on yer belly then.”

Theon rolled onto his stomach and hugged one of the pillows, “Like this?”

“Mhm, just like that.”

Theon was about to comment further when he felt Nash's hand on his as, squeezing and massaging the meat of it then he felt his ass being spread and his eyes widened, he glanced over his shoulder, “Nash?”

“Just relax.” Nash murmured he was slowly lying down between Theon's legs while his fingers stroked and spread Theon's ass.

Theon turned back around and bit the pillow, his eyes squeezed shut as he repeated over and over in his head that Nash wasn't going to hurt him, that this was alright, that he was alright, everything was alright. It wasn't helping much until he felt something wet and warm press into his asshole. Theon yelped and his spine curled, he looked back over his shoulder and his eyes widened, Nash was licking his ass. Theon blinked then gasped as Nash's tongue wiggled inside, his toes curled and dug into the bedding and he went back to biting the pillow. He was trying not to fight back against the invading, slippery tongue, remember what Ramsay used to do when he fought but that only made him more rigid and tight. Nash's tongue retreated and Theon was about to sigh in slight relief until he felt a finger slipping in the tongue's place and he was just starting to shake his head and open his mouth to call the whole thing off when the finger curled and nudged something inside Theon that made his cry out and push back.

Nash chuckled, thrusting his finger, now fingers, inside Theon, “There it is.”

“What is that? What are you doing?” Theon thrashed, pushing up onto his knees to get better leverage, “Oh my gods! What is that?”

“'s what I was looking fer.” Nash murmured, kissing Theon's asscheek lightly.

Theon gasped as he felt Nash getting up on his knees and sprawling over Theon's back while he thrust his fingers deeper, pressing that spot as he thrust his hips against Theon's ass. Theon moaned louder, the familiar feeling of a building orgasm coiling in his guts had him in tears that Nash quickly kissed off his face with whispered encouragement. Theon laughed then moaned into the pillow as he finally, _finally_ found release, clear spending dripping onto the bedding and he collapsed, quivering and laugh-crying in Nash's arms, almost whining when the fingers withdrew and he was left empty and strangely cold.

Nash kissed every inch of Theon's face as the young Greyjoy came down from his elation, “See?” The sailor whispered in his ear, “More than one way ta skin a cat.”

Theon rolled onto Nash and hugged him as tightly as he could, his face buried in Nash's shoulder, “Thank you.”

“Think nothing of it. An' just wait til we bring my toys inta it.”

Theon lifted himself up on shaky arms, “Toys?”

“Mhm, special made just fer me an' now ya can use 'em too since yer missing the same parts that I am.” Nash smiled, “How do ya feel?”

“I've never cried when coming before, if that's any measure.” Theon smiled.

Nash reached up and rubbed some tears off Theon's face that his lips had missed, “'m glad. I know ya were scared at the first.”

Theon frowned and sighed, “Can you blame me?”

“Not at all, 's a scary thing, first time getting fucked up the bum.” Nash sighed heavily and leaned back into the pillows, “'m happy ya stuck it out though, it's worth it.”

“Yes.” Theon laid back down then he frowned and reached down, touching himself and rubbing his fingers together with the liquid that coated them, “I . . . came?”

“Mhm,” Nash shrugged, “Don't know what it is or where it comes from since ya got no balls but still happens.”

Theon stared at his fingers then wiped them on the sheets, smiling to himself, “I'm so happy I met you.”

“Feelin's mutual, an' I can show ya how ta pack yer trousers, no one will know the difference.” Nash pulled Theon into his arms and kissed his temple, “I'll take care of ya, Theon.”

Theon breathed out and closed his eyes, this felt pretty good too.

* * *

Yara and Nash were up at the helm, they were smoking pipes and discussing their next destination,

“What about the Free Cities? I hear they've got a lot of work fer trading vessels.” Nash pointed at the map, “We might hit a squall or two since winter is on its way, but might be worth the risk.”

“We can take three or four ships that way and send a few more to Dorne, I have about three hundred skeins of silk to pick up there, the Tyrell's have been begging anyone for silk. And the spices we can get there have brought in a lot of gold from King's Landing, southern folk can't stomach bland food.” Yara smirked.

Nash nodded, “I'll send the message 'round then.”

They leaned back at the makeshift map stand, Yara glanced to the deck then stopped to watch as Theon helped scrub the deck,

“How is he doing?”

Nash leaned on the railing and smiled, enjoying the view as Theon removed his jacket, “Quite well, actually, ya'd be right proud of him.”

“That's good,” Yara stood next to Nash, her eyebrow cocked, “You show him that thing you use?”

“Not yet, that's next, though, he did show me a thing or two that _you've_ used.” Nash cocked an eyebrow in return.

Yara cleared her throat, “Oh?”

“Aye.”

“Well, glad he's listening to me on _some_ level.”

Nash snorted, “He's quite _adept_ at it.”

Yara groaned and tapped out her pipe, “Alright, I don't want to hear about this.”

“What? Ya can talk ta yer old mate, Nash, 'bout fucking!” Nash laughed as Yara hurried down to the deck to bark at a few sailors who weren't moving quick enough out of her way.

 


	6. Chapter 6

“Bloody hell, it's hot here!” Nash slung his longcoat over his shoulder and shook his head, “Keep forgetting that.”

Theon hurried to keep up, “Could you slow down a bit?”

Nash cocked an eyebrow and chuckled, “Sorry, 'm used ta keeping up with taller men.”

“And Yara, she walks fast too.” Theon muttered but nodded in appreciation when Nash slowed to match Theon's gait.

“Aye, that she does.” Nash shook his head, running a hand through his short hair, he'd left his cap back at the ship and looked like he wished he'd left the coat as well.

“Where are we going?” Theon shook a leg to adjust himself, the pack wasn't as easy to walk with as he had thought.

“Bath house, Yara said we'd be in port for a few days, thought we could take full advantage of it.” Nash smiled and turned down another street only to stop when he noticed Theon wasn't next to him, “Eh, what's up?”

Theon shuffled and had to quickly get out of a few passersby's way or risk being shoved, “I . . . I don't know about that.”

“'bout what?” Nash turned and came back to stand in front of Theon.

“A bath house? Being naked in front of people?” Theon gestured vaguely but kept his eyes lowered, “If you want to you can go, I'll just head back to the ship.”

“Theon, I pay the house and we get a bath to ourselves, no one is going to see us.” Nash assured, reaching up to stroke Theon's jaw.

Theon grabbed Nash's hand and held it against his cheek for a moment then nodded, “If you're sure, _absolutely_ _sure_ it's safe, then alright.”

“I would never intentionally put ya in a dangerous situation, little fish,” Nash leaned forward and kissed Theon's forehead then took his hand and started to lead him back down the street, “C'mon.”

* * *

Theon looked around at their little suite, it had a private bath and steam room and bedroom, he blinked then furrowed his brow,

“How much did this all cost you?”

Nash looked up from tugging his boots off, “A few gold pieces, we have it fer two days, I already sent someone to tell Yara where we're at so no worries.”

Theon blinked, “That's pretty expensive . . . you didn't have to do that.”

Nash shrugged and stood, wiggling his toes on the cool stone and smiled, “Yer worth it.”

Theon blushed and smiled, “If you say so.”

“I do say so, let's get in the bath.” Nash pulled his shirt over his head and undid his belt.

Theon nodded and started to take his own clothes off, he watched Nash as the dark-haired sailor stood naked for a moment before he moved to dip a toe in the bath. Theon slid his trousers and small clothes to the floor and stood awkwardly for a moment before nodding to himself and moving to join Nash who was already up to his neck in the water.

“I brought one of my toys with us fer ya ta try out.” Nash said as he watched Theon slowly get into the water and move to sit next to Nash.

“So, you say 'toy' but something tells me it isn't what I think it is.” Theon pulled his knees up to his chest and glanced shyly at Nash.

“Naw, it's meant fer sex, actually how I came across it is a bit of a funny story.” Nash stretched his arms across the rim of the bath and tilted his head back.

“Tell me?” Theon asked, scooting closer to press into Nash's side.

Nash smirked, reaching back to grab a cloth and bar of soap out of a basket, moving around in front of Theon he started to push the redhead's legs down and wash his chest and arms,

“I was a frustrated man after I bought my freedom, couldn't fuck how I wanted ta fuck, I don't much like taking a cock, would rather be the one giving the cock, if ya catch my drift?”

“I think so. You want to be the . . . er, the man.” Theon grimaced, “That did not come out how I meant it.”

“It's still true enough, I wanted ta be the one on top,” Nash shrugged, taking Theon's hands and scrubbing at his nails and knuckles, kneading the stunted digits and palms gently, “Anyway, I didn't know who ta ask or how ta ask fer the things I wanted, so I went about just being a pent-up ball of sexual frustration, I went ta a brothel, tired of not getting what I wanted an' asked 'em fer a young man ta spend a night with. He was pretty surprised ta find I have a cunt and not a cock.”

“So was I.” Theon chuckled, leaning forward to kiss Nash's forehead.

“I recall,” Nash smiled and moved to rub Theon's feet, pleased that the young prince was incredibly relaxed under his hands, “I told him what I wanted ta do an' he left the room fer a bit then came back with special harness and wooden cock that the girls use ta fuck each other, he fixed me up an' I fucked a man as a man that night. He told me who made it an' where ta go. I commissioned the craftsman ta make me one, he was real discreet an' told me I wasn't the first like me he'd made one fer. So that's what my little 'toy' is an' I got one you'll like well enough.”

“Will it do what you did the other night? In my ass?” Theon slid lower in the water, his eyes fluttering closed.

“Mhm.” Nash lifted Theon's leg out of the water and kissed his calf.

Theon was about to ask for Nash to do that particular thing when a thought struck him, “But, wait, no,” He sat up, “You said you don't like being the one that . . . you know, 'takes the cock'?”

Nash shook his head, “It's fine.”

“No, that's not fair, you don't like it, you shouldn't have to do it.” Theon shook his head.

Nash rolled his eyes, “Theon, it's not that big a d-”

“No,” Theon said more forcefully, “No, I'm not going to make you do something you don't like.”

Nash blinked, his jaw worked a bit then he sat next to Theon, “Would ya be alright with it? If I do ya like that?”

Theon shifted and sighed, “Well . . . I liked it when you did it with your fingers . . . and I imagine that if it's you, then you'll make sure I enjoy myself . . . I trust you.”

“This part ain't so much about trust as it is about how ya feel with something cock-sized in yer ass, little fish.” Nash tilted his head to the side.

“It wouldn't be the first time and I'll bet my birthright that I'll like this time more than that.” Theon shrugged.

“First time?” Nash furrowed his brow then his jaw dropped open, “ . . . Ramsay . . . did he-?”

“Yes, he did, Nash.” Theon stood up in the bath and moved to leave the water, “A _lot_. Said he liked how I struggled and cried.”

Nash scrambled to get out of the bath as Theon wrapped a towel around himself, “Ya mean that bastard fu-”

“Yes, Nash!” Theon shouted, whirling around angrily, “He fucked me. He fucked me until I bled and let his men fuck me and once tried to get one of his _dogs_ to fuck me! There! I've been fucked before, alright? Stop asking about it!”

Nash backed up a pace and stood dripping on the stone floor, his hand stopped midair to touch Theon and he had a look on his face that Theon couldn't quite place then Nash turned on his heel and walked to the far wall, breathing heavily as he stared at the wall. Theon swallowed, his anger dissolving into worry as he thought maybe he shouldn't have said anything about that or raised his voice. He was just about to say that they could talk about something else, anything else, that he was sorry then Nash took a deep breath and yelled at the wall as he drove his fist into it, not breaking or moving the wall but he clearly hurt himself as a little trickle of blood dripped down between the stone bricks but Nash kept grinding his fist into the stone and his other fist was shaking at his side.

Theon licked his lips and pulled the towel tighter around his shoulders, “ . . . Nash?”

Nash took a shaky breath and put his forehead down on the wall, “ . . . 'm fine.”

“No you're not, please, I'm sorry I said those things, we don't have to talk about that.” Theon pleaded, shivering as the water dripped off his body and puddled around his feet.

“No, I need ta hear this,” Nash turned around and leaned his head back on the wall, cradling his bloody fist with the other, “I need ta know this shit, all of it, even the worst of it. I can't pretend ya didn't have horrible shit done ta ya an' think we can just plow on ahead like that. 'm sorry.”

“Nash, your hand is bleeding.” Theon whispered, he was too afraid to move from that spot.

Nash lifted his hand and stared at the bruised and bleeding knuckles, “True enough.”

Theon watched as Nash moved to grab a cloth to mop the blood off his hand then sit on the bed with his head in his hands,

“C'mere.”

Theon shifted his weight to his other foot and hesitated, he wanted to, but he also wasn't sure why Nash wanted him in that exact moment. Nash looked up when Theon wasn't within arm's length and blinked,

“Theon, it's alright, just c'mere so I can hold ya.”

“You're not angry at me?” Theon ventured and slowly started to shuffled closer to Nash.

“No, 'm not mad at ya, 'm mad at a corpse, 'm mad at people that aren't still alive so I can kill 'em myself over an' over ta pay fer what they did ta ya.” Nash said softly then grabbed Theon by the hips when he was close enough and buried his face in the redhead's stomach, hugging him tightly.

Theon shakily stroked Nash's hair, fingering the gold hoop in Nash's ear, “ . . . if it makes you feel better, Ramsay was fed to his own dogs.”

Nash snorted and looked up at Theon, “Would've liked ta see that fer myself.”

Theon shook his head emphatically, “No, you don't, it was terrible what those dogs could do to a person. I've seen it and I never want to see it again.”

Nash pulled the towel off Theon and used it to dry the rest of his thin body, “Anyway, ya see why 'm not okay with fuckin' ya? I just . . . I know what that was like . . . an' I know how long it took fer me ta be able ta be with someone like that again. Please, fer me, take it slow with me.”

Theon bent down to hug Nash's head, his cheek rubbing against Nash's thick hair, “ . . . alright, if you're alright with it, then I can be too.”

“That's my boy,” Nash stood and cupped Theon's face in his hands, kissing his forehead then moving lower and kissing Theon's lips gently, “My prince.”

Theon smiled a little and closed his eyes, enjoying the brush of Nash's lips against his own, allowing Nash to map out his body with deft fingers, it was pleasant and soothing and let him drift from the nightmares that plagued his mind constantly. He opened his eyes slightly when fingers brushed his scars, he glanced down and hummed softly.

“Ya alright?” Nash asked softly, kissing Theon's neck.

“Mhm.” Theon breathed as heat rushed through his body, he bit his lip.

“Good.” Nash's fingers stroked between Theon's legs, feeling out for places that made Theon twitch and gasp until Theon pulled back, “No?”

“If we don't sit down or something, my knees are going to give out.” Theon laughed a bit, ducking his head shyly.

Nash chuckled, “Oh, well in that case.”

Theon was about to turn toward the bed but Nash scooped him up, surprising Theon into yelping and scrabbling to get hold of Nash, wrapping his arms around the older man's neck. Nash chuckled,

“I got ya, Theon, I got ya.”

Theon blinked then blushed, “So you do.”

Nash stood there for a moment holding Theon, he kissed the redhead's forehead then moved toward the bed, setting the Greyjoy down on it then crawled up to lie next to him. They spent a few minutes kissing and touching each other then Nash got up and went to a satchel that Theon had not noticed until now.

“Is that where you keep the . . . ?” Theon gestured vaguely at the bag as Nash returned to sit in front of him.

“Mhm.”

Nash pulled out a soft leather harness and two polished wooden pieces, one was long and thick so clearly the cock but the other was shaped like a blunted builder's plumb. Theon took the shorter piece in his hand and turned it over a few times,

“What's this for?”

Nash chuckled, “That goes up your bum.”

Theon's eyes widened, “Up my- ? Why?”

“Because usin' just the cock bit won't probably do it fer ya. Eunuchs I've been with like ta use both.”

Theon swallowed, “I know it will fit but I just . . . “

“We'll ease ya inta it, don't worry.” Nash leaned forward and kissed Theon's temple.

Theon nodded, turning the phallus over in his hand next, “So how do we rig this up then?”

Nash smiled, “Now, this one in particular fits inta the harness like this-” Here Nash slipped the phallus into a bronze ring set on a leather panel in the front, the back of the panel had a smooth wooden ridge set into it, “And the back here rubs on yer cock-bit, then the plug goes up yer bum and is held in with this strap that goes between yer asscheeks.”

Theon cocked his head, “Oh, that's fairly simple. And you say that a man made this for you?”

“Yeh, he's been makin' things like this fer years,” Nash took a small tub out of the satchel that had a thick white cream in it, “Any brothel ya go ta has someone makin' things like this fer 'em.”

Theon nodded and stretched back on the bed, “Help me?”

Nash smiled and nodded, “Just relax.”

Theon closed his eyes and focused on his breathing as he felt Nash's lips on his stomach down to his thighs, he sighed as he felt fingers with slick on them stroke over his asshole. Theon shifted and spread his legs more, his own hands running slowly down to stroke through Nash's hair while the sailor pillowed his head on Theon's thigh while slipping his fingers slowly in and out of Theon.

“Feel good?” Nash asked, glancing up at Theon.

“You can go in more, I'm fine.” Theon murmured, opening his eyes a bit.

“If yer sure.” Nash slid two fingers in, just brushing Theon's prostate and made the redhead whine and twitch, “Not yet, little fish, be patient.”

Theon's penis-stub flexed and he whined loudly, “Nash, love, I'm going to come if you don't leave off!”

Nash blinked then withdrew his fingers, “Alright, that might be enough anyways.”

Theon panted, bending his knees as Nash rubbed slick onto the plug, “This is going to hurt, isn't it?”

“It'll stretch yer ass pretty good, but it shouldn't be painful, an' if it is, we will stop..” Nash reassured, “Ready?”

“As I'll ever be.” Theon swallowed and bit his lip.

The plug pressed against his asshole and Theon reminded himself to breath and relax, the blunted tip was pushed slowly in then it popped past the guardian ring of muscles and Theon breathed a sigh of relief once it was ensconced inside him.

“That wasn't so bad.” He murmured then he shifted and yelped in surprise as the plug rubbed against his prostate, “What?”

“Good, ain't it?” Nash chuckled, "Slow movements 'til yer in me or this'll be over much sooner than either of us would like, I'd wager.”

Theon nodded, “Right . . . “

Nash slipped the harness up Theon's legs and buckled it just above his tailbone, he slicked the phallus then leaned forward,

“How do ya like ta fuck?”

Theon blinked then thought about how he used to do things, “Well . . . I was usually just on top.”

Nash nodded, “Fair enough.”

He nudged Theon out of the way and propped the pillows up a bit better before lying on his back, another pillow wedged under his hips. Theon watched him get settled before moving to kneel between the sailor's legs, he swallowed and ran his fingers through Nash's black pubic hair, his thumb stroking over the sensitive clit. Nash moaned softly,

“It's alright, sweetling, ya won't hurt me.”

Theon bit his lip, “If for whatever reason you're even a little uncomfortable or anything, say the word and we'll stop. Just like with me.”

Nash shook his head, “Theon, it-”

“No, please, promise me.” Theon took Nash's hand and squeezed it, his eyes a bit moist, “I don't . . . I don't want to hurt you.”

Nash blinked then leaned up and kissed Theon tenderly, the fingers of his free hand stroking through the soft red curls at the base of Theon's skull. Theon carefully tilted the phallus and pressed it into Nash, sliding it home as Nash pulled him down on the bed. Theon felt Nash's long legs and arms wrap around his waist and neck respectively, Theon licked his lips and tucked his head against Nash's jaw.

“I-I'm going to move now.” He whispered.

Nash breathed out slowly, “'m ready.”

Theon licked his lips, closed his eyes and thrust into Nash and a few things happened that were a pleasant shock to the prince. Firstly Nash's promise of what the plug and harness would do was kept, he felt an explosive wave of pleasure from inside and the ridge pressing in the front felt rather pleasant as well. Secondly, Nash arched his back and moaned loudly, his grip tightening and pulling Theon in closer. Lastly, and probably most unexpectedly, Theon looked at Nash and felt and overwhelming rush of love and trust wash over him.

Theon rocked his hips into Nash, kissing the sailor's neck and around the scars where his ear had been. Nash's noises became more desperate and Theon felt fingernails digging into his shoulders and Nash's heels pressed into his back, goading him to move faster. Theon grabbed one of Nash's legs and pulled it higher, shifting his knees further under Nash and changing the angle. Nash's eyes widened and he latched his fingernails into the meat of Theon's ass, pulling him in harder and faster. Theon made a strangled sound in the back of his throat, his eyes squeezed shut and he leaned forward, his face pressed into the pillows as his orgasm hit him.

“Ah! Oh! Oh gods!” Nash's hips thrust into Theon, impaling himself on the wooden cock as he rode out his own pleasures.

Nash chuckled as he and Theon collapsed back into the pillows, he breathed out as he felt Theon withdraw from him, the redhead clung onto Nash and was trembling slightly.

“Well, I'd say that was a success, eh, Theon?” Nash looked down at Theon, then frowned, “Theon? Theon, what's wrong?”

Theon sobbed loudly and shook his head, “I'm sorry . . . “

Nash propped himself up on his elbow and carded his fingers through Theon's sweaty hair, “Fer what?”

“No, I- . . . for crying.” Theon sat up and allowed Nash to unbuckle the harness and set it aside, “I just . . . I never thought I'd ever be able to feel anything like that ever again . . . “

Nash smiled and hugged Theon, “'m glad I could give that ta ya.”

“Nash?”

“Yeh, love?”

“I love you.”

Nash leaned back and kissed Theon's nose, 'I love you too.”

Theon swallowed, “Can you help me get the plug out?”

Nash nodded, “Yeh, roll over.”

Theon stretched out on the bed and closed his eyes, grunting as Nash worked the plug out of his ass then sighing softly,

“Do you want to do it to me?”

“Right now? No, too tired fer now, let's take a bath, eh? Bit sticky.”

Theon nodded and shakily clambered out of the bed after Nash, taking his hand as they stepped into the warm water to clean up.

 


End file.
